A matter of right and also-right

Is it easier to sell peanuts or moral relativism?

Moral relativism is not an easy concept for some people to understand, says Laurie Taylor in his weekly column for the Magazine.

Last week, idly glancing through a five page document which had arrived from my accountant, I learned for the first time that the private pension I'd been assembling over the last few years had halved in value. Noughts had simply disappeared.

It seemed obvious that if I was still to enjoy the relaxing sun and Scotch-soaked retirement I'd always envisaged for myself, then I'd need to find some extra work. There was little hope that I could now return to higher education or any other salaried occupation. I'd need to act for myself. Become an entrepreneur.

FIND OUT MORE Hear Laurie Taylor's Thinking Allowed on Radio 4 at 1600 on Wednesday 14 January Or download the podcast here

I wasn't without experience. Back in the early sixties at my teachers' training college in Sidcup, I'd gone heavily into peanuts with my best friend, Tom. During a heavy drinking session one night, we'd calculated that the peanuts we were eating at the bar cost nearly two pence a dozen. Surely we could buy them cheaper in bulk and market our own brand?

Indeed we could. When we wrote to the company name on the side of the packet we were offered five pound boxes of peanuts which, when divided into pub-sized bags and sold at half the pub price, would still give us a 200% profit.

We promptly named our enterprise Fireside Foods and set off with a barrow and a paraffin-heated hotplate to Sidcup High Street. Our peanuts were not only cheaper but they were also semi-roasted.

Sociology van

And that was the problem. We'd had the bad luck to set up our enterprise in one of the hottest summer months on record. As people all around us scrambled for shelter from the blinding sun, we alone stood out in the middle of the street tending to a steaming hotplate. Sales were very slow. A packet of hot nuts in that climate seemed about as desirable as a mug of Bovril.

Rather more planning has gone into my latest entrepreneurial idea. What I'm thinking of doing is purchasing a small second-hand van and having the side inscribed with a modest name check and an invitation 'LAURIE TAYLOR. Sociologist. Your Problems Solved.